me + homecoming

the departure for my christmas return to oregon is fast approaching. i’ve had my eyes set on my-december-19^th-flight-out-of-here prize for quite some time now. i am so excited and it feels weird to be traveling home for christmas. since this is the first time i have not lived oregon during this time of year it has been a very different pre-holiday season for me. thanksgiving was a tad lonely and completely incomplete due to the lack of turkey on my plate and the absence of anyone else at the (coffee) table with me! christmas time in japan, and yes, i do say christmas time in japan is strange. there is actually christmas crap all over the place, which i never really expected at all (and i don’t really understand since few japanese people are even remotely from a christian background). the decorations and lights do help to get in the spirit a bit but also really drives home the fact that i’m indeed 5,000 miles away form home during these weeks leading up to the holidays. i am so thankful the “i’ll be home for christmas” lyric is true for me this year. i am lucky to be able to travel home and spend the holidays where i belong. i think staying in japan for christmas alone would be absolutely terrible...

 i look forward to returning to my hometown in just 9 days. this is the longest i have ever been away from home (coming up on 9 months out of the country). i have such high expectations for how great being back home will be but i wonder if i could have romanticized portland a bit – what if i have made everything a wee bit shinier in my head? what if it isn’t as i remembered it? what if i am different than i was the last time i was there (cause know this is true) and it doesn’t feel the same anymore? what if my favorite portland things are different now since life has changed a lot in the last several months? what if? what if? what if?

well, i know for sure its impossible for me to be disappointed because even if the town fell to complete shit since my departure for japan i know my friends (less charles and sara (sad face)) and family will be there and that, is indeed enough to make me happy - this i know. it’s the people i miss most and that’s what i like least about my life here in japan... i feel weird here, out of place and then at the end of the day, i come home to a miniscule $700 per month, freezing, empty apartment – it can be (is) annoying and depressing. but like most things – however good or bad - it is only temporary. i will be back in oregon by the end of march, maybe sooner depending on how things play out. i know i can finish what i started here, i want to finish what i started and then i want to go back to oregon and see where a life surrounded by the people i care about takes me. i guarantee no plans for a japanese vacation are anywhere in my near future...